Corporate Lessons

Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the

doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When

she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a

word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front

of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman

wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he

say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to

reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily

slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest

removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The

nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry

sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On

his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when

they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,

"I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a

speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the

beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of

my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those

two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit

like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the

rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and

ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that

tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with

nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough

strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some

more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was

proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot

the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

" Be who you are... and say what you feel...

Because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " SO TRUE!!!

-Dr. Seuss