Why Men Are Happier

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.


You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car
mechanics tell you the truth.



The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add
character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at
your chest when you're talking to them.



The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, they can still be
your friend.



Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are
more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You
are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face
stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.



You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your
big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache..



You can do Christmas shopping for all your relatives on December 24 in
30 minutes.

No wonder men are happier