Nice Poem For You

> >Just laugh it off.
> >
> >
> > > I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
> > > I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then I wrote your name
> > > on my heart & i got Heart Attack .
> > >
> > >
> > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> > >
> > >
> > > God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
> > > He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
> > > He saw me in dark, he created light .
> > > He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
> > >
> > >
> > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> > >
> > >
> > > Twinkle Twinkle little star
> > > You should know what you are
> > > And once you know what you are
> > > Mental hospital is not so far.
> > >
> > >
> > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> > >
> > >
> > > The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.
> > > If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?
> > >
> > >
> > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> > >
> > >
> > > Roses are red, Violets are blue
> > > monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
> > > Don't feel so angry you will find me there too not in cage but
> > > laughing at you.
> > >
> > >
> > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> > >
> > >
> > > When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to free u from
> > > darkness and if after you pray and your still in darkness, please
> > > pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !

Jokes

(1) Girls reaction to penis sizes:
> # 9" - oh shit pain!
> # 7" - oh yes, yum!
> # 6" - oh perfect!
> # 5" - mmm ok!
> # 4" - push more
> # 3" - is it in?
> # 2" - idiot! Just use your tongue.
>
> (2) Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra
sizes?
> A - Airport (flat)
> B - Barely there
> C - Can do
> D - Damgood
> E - Enormous
> F - Fake
>
> (3) During pregnancy:
> The 1st three month s, do it the normal style.
> Next three months do it the doggy style And the last three months do
> it the wolf style. Sit outside the hole and howl.
>
> (4) Latest statistics on 'what men do after SEX???
> 2% eat
> 3% smoke cigarettes
> 4% take a shower
> 5% go to sleep
> 86% get up and go back home to their wife.
> HOW TRUE!!!
>
> (5) What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a
nude woman?
> "Fuck you and your law of gravity, I'm going UP."
>
> (6) Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked
'why?'
> He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for every
Fuck!"
> Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others $
250/-"
>
> (7) Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency. Angry
maid
> says, " at least I am better than you in bed."
> Lady (amazed): ?Did boss tell you this?"
> Maid: "No, the driver did."
>
> (8) What is the difference between a new husband and
a new dog?
> " After a year, the dog is still excited to see
you."
>
> (9) A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is
300% impotent.
> The doc asks "how 300%?" She says: "you know about
the 100%, and now he
> has broken his finger and burnt his tongue."
>
> (10) A female reporter was interviewing a farmer
regarding mad cow disease.
> Reporter: Sir, would you like to comment about the
madgt; cow disease?
> Farmer: Lady, do you know that bulls and cows only
have sex once a year?
> Reporter: Sir, I respect your comment but we are
talking about mad cows disease.
> Farmer: Lady, and do you know that we squeeze cow's
breast six times a day.
> Reporter: Sir, but what is it got to do with mad
cows disease.
> Farmer: If your boyfriend squeeze your breast six
times a day, but only have SEX once in a year - WILL
> YOU BE MAD?

Why Ladies In Malaysia Must Speak English

WHY LADIES MUST KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH

One day, an Ang Moh from USA arrived at KLIAAirport.
After he checked out from the customs,
he felt he needed to go to the toilet, so he looked for one.

When he found the toilet, there was a lady sitting at the entrance.
When he was about to enter the toilet,
the lady stopped him and asked for forty cents in Cantonese ("sey kok").
The Mat Salleh wondered why in MALAYSIA
they have to "see the cock" before entering the toilet?
So he said "no" but the lady insisted.
Since he had no choice, he took ou t his cock and showed it to her.

The lady said "No! No! Duit, Duit!" (money in Malay),
but the Ang Moh misunderstood again and thought that she said "Do it! Do
it!"
So he asked, "Now? Here?"
The lady replied "Yes, yes!" because she doesn't quite understand
English.

The Ang Moh thought that she wanted to have sex with him,
so he stripped the lady and made love to her.
The lady started screaming and shouted, "SAKIT! SAKIT!" (pain in Malay),
and the Ang Moh thought it was "SUCK IT! SUCK IT!"

He said "OK! I will suck it for you" and took both breasts and suck
them.
The lady again screamed "Oh, TUHAN!" (Oh, MY GOD....in Malay).
The Ang Moh misunderstood again. "Too HARD?
OK, sweetheart, I'll be gentler a bit," the Ang Moh replied.

Suddenly, a security guard walked by, so the lady shouted for help,
"TOLONG! TOLONG, ENCIK!"
The Ang Moh replied, "Not too long, just 6 inches only."

---

The Market is Bad .....2005

> > A UM graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally
> > accepted the offer to work with Taiping Zoo. "What to do? It's
> > better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to
> > himself. So since
> that
> > day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey.
> >
> > He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He
> > has
to
> > climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors.
> > The
zoo
> > has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in
> visitors.
> > Even Mahathir wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world.
> >
> > Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees, he fell
> > down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God...I'm dying...now" he
> > thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his
> > direction. In the
> middle
> > of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my
> > friend...I'm from UKM".

Moments In Life

MOMENTS IN LIFE

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
But often times we look so long at the
Closed door that we don't see the one,
Which has been opened for us

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
Because it takes only a smile to
Make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
Go where you want to go;
Be what you want to be,
Because you have only one life
And one chance to do all the things
You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human and
Enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
Have the best of everything;
They just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
Be based on a forgotten past;
You can't go forward in life until
You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
You’re the one who is smiling and everyone
Around you is crying.

STUPID QUESTIONS BUT SMART ANSWERS

> STUPID QUESTIONS BUT SMART ANSWERS
>
> BOY : May I hold your hand?
> GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
>
> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
>
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
>
> SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
> TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his
> mouth.
>
>
> MAN : You remind me of the sea.
> WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>
>
> WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out
> of the other.
> HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and
> comes out of the mouth.
>
>
> MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
> Peter?
> PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
>
> * The End * Wahaha!