Pitfall of Marriage

Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..

Before marriage. .
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you. "
Lagi lama married. .
You die I help you!

Before marriage. .
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. . .
You go anywhere. . up to you.
Lagi lama married. . .
You go anywhere better get lost!!

Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves. "

Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"

Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you

Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la

Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak

Before wedding
Weekends at Cameron, Genting and Fraser's Hill
After wedding
Furthest you go is Maxwell Hill

Before wedding
He opens the car door
After wedding
He opens his mouth and snores

Before wedding
She / he was your ideal
After wedding
She / he becomes your ordeal

hehe...future hubbies...be careful...and future wives...be
aware.......................!!

Listen

>>Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a
>>perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together
>>was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this
>>perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road,
>>when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.
>>Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa
>>Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any
>>children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa
>>and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
>>delivering the toys.
>>
>>Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect
>>couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived
>>the accident.
>>
>>Question: Who was the survivor???
>>Scroll down for the answer.
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>> Answer:
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>>The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed
>>in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and
>>there is no such thing as a perfect man.
>>
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>> **** Women you can stop reading here, that is the end of the
>>joke.
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>> **** Men keep scrolling.
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>>So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must
>>have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
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**** Women, if you have read this too... stop reading here, this is REALLY the end of the joke.
**** Men Keep scrolling



By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point:

WOMEN NEVER LISTEN!!!

Tough Questions

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are...

Ready? GO!!!


First Question:


You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?


Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!


Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the


first question


Second Question:


If you overtake the last person, then you are...?


Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrongagain. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this! Are you?


Third Question:


Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.


Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.


Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for


Answer.


Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.


Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your


day. Maybe you will get the last question right?


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?


Answer: Nunu?


NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again


Okay, now the bonus round.


There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?


He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!

First Day on Job

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up
on

the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look

mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap

would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my
first

day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying Dead Bodies for
the

last 25 years.